Where is the Real Connection?

   First its been a super long time since I have blogged anything. I was thinking about friendships, past relationships, relationships with other human beings.. 

    When it comes to connections, love, dating, friendships really any Relationships with others everyone is different. I can be weird and people don't "get me" I am who I am. I wear funky clothes mixmatch patterns and really love Ms. Frizzle(If you dont know who that is google it 😅) ❤. 

          One thing I am working on is trying to be more present and now. Working on having real face to face conversations with people. I have gotten so accustomed to talking over technology I realize I sometimes struggle to communicate well without it. I really really have a hard time with conflict and even more so I tend to worry more about others than my own happiness. 

On the topic of Relationships with others.... How hard is it to make new friends!? I had a conversation the other day with someone I consider to be a really good friend on this subject. Its not so easy I know people will say you just go up to people. No it dosent work like that when I was in Europe I went out on my own one day I was so excited and then the dread came over me I really dont like hanging out by myself in public. There are those people who go out and just start talking to people and find thier little temp group of friends nope not this girl. Straight up fear. But if there was an app find me a friend which im sure there is. Just plug it in Im here I need someone to hang out with you chat for a sec bam instant friend to hang out with...  

         I do have my rare moments of bravery where I have actually talked to someone in person who I didnt know. Sometimes you meet those people who just give off a vibe.  There these people who cross into our paths that you just connect with. It's like you've know each other forever and it just feels right. I like those kind of connections. I feel comfortable when those relationships come about to be myself to not feel as I have to impress this potential new friend. 

          Lot of rambling going on in this post but hey oh well getting out some thoughts. So besides my fitness goals which I am rocking also still need a black pass buddy to take me to the gym with them! ! Two other goals of mine are to #1. Start hanging out by myself in public more and #2. Start making real friendships getting deep and trusting some people. 
Hey fb might say I have a lot of friends but in reality I have about 4 who I talk to on a regular basis and who I actually get together with each one I trust with diffefent things. Ladies who actually know who I am and still love me lol.