I love

I Love 

Listen to the small voice.

As I sit here in recess at a Charlie Sam table I am reminded of a warm summer day  when I first ventured into recess. I think about where I was at that time in my life and where I am today. How much time has gone by some of it wasted time on reckless endeavors. Wasted time on people... How much time do we waste on unnecessary things, people, worries, bad thoughts. Time wasted that we can never get back. Gone forever. I sit here and I think of all the darkness that has been engulfing my thoughts lately. Thoughts that I have allowed to fester in my mind. Negativity instead of light and positive thinking. There though is that small voice that says you can overcome, you are somebody, you are worth more, you are loved. That small whisper that if you just listen to it, it will bring you peace in your mind and soul. Snap out of it! You are better than this. How many times do we push that voice away and stay in our misery?

Toxic Selfish People

   What is a selfish person the dictionary would define selfish as, (of a person, action, or 

motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or

 pleasure. The hard thing is I never realize that I allow these people into my life until they 

have already affected me in a negative way. Selfish people are the true wolves in lambs

 clothing. They are nice, they are extremely sweet, they are likable, and they will suck the 

happiness out of you. Selfish people only care about their own pleasures and have no 

consideration for others even if they are causing that person pain. The kicker is most selfish

people don't actually know they are selfish and they end up carelessly walking all over the 

hearts of people who care for them. So I'm not saying I can't be selfish at times but honestly 

most of the time I put others needs before my own. It is a good and bad thing because

I usually end up paying for it emotionally. I need to establish boundaries with people. I am 

not going to be there for people only when they benefit and need me. While when I need them 

there nowhere to be found. I have constantly been the one to ask how your day is otherwise 

nothing. Makes  you wonder if a person even cares about you at all. Who needs a one sided 

relationship of any kind... Not me. Time who has time to waste... not me not on someone

who does not value that time given to them. Why put up with it? I can't. I need to realize these 

relationships are toxic to my soul, to my wellbeing, to my heart! I am a lover. I love people, I 

see the good in people, and I forget that some people are not like me. They are takers, they 

don't know how or are not willing to give of themselves. They make excuses for their

questionable behavior.  I won't be someone’s door mat.  I am moving forward no more repeats  of past mistakes. I WILL NOT let someone try and make me feel bad for what I feel! I am who I am. 

Tomorrow is another day.

Tomorrow is another day.  I let go of all grudges, hurts, and disappointments. The past is the past. I must remember not to sweat the small stuff, and that its all small stuff. I am loved, loyal, beautiful person inside and out, and a GREAT mother! Good will come to me if I am open to it. Love will come when I'm ready for it. Peace in my soul, silence the bad in my mind. Today I'm looking up, today I'm moving forward, today I will not be 2nd, 3rd or last. I will be on top of things, keep myself in check, stop thinking about other people all the time and putting their needs first before my own. I will be honest with what I want and speak it instead of always holding things in. I will live and love with all my heart. I will be free of the chains I've held myself back with. I deserve the best because I give my best. One giant leap in the right direction. Now it's on! I been weak for too long it's time to be Strong both physically and mentally! Bring it on!!